Author, Psychologist
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Grief is not an emotion. Grief is a time of feeling every emotion. It’s a time of feeling blinded to everything else; seared raw by the white light of the beloved soul’s final flare. We are caught unawares, no matter how expected, in the flash, then the fallout from the ending of a personal epoch. …
What would need to have happened if you woke up one morning and your life was all you dreamed – every duck in a row – you’re living your best life? To help people find direction and make changes in therapy, I sometimes ask this “possibility question”. It can help us to work out what …
Straight up? It’s a yes and a no. Yes – your relationship can survive, for better or for worse. In some cases, there’s eventually a positive that emerges long-term after infidelity – that an affair was one of the few things dramatic and life-changing enough to bring the couple back to a strong erotic connection. It’s …
“Avoid the temptation to squeeze your mind into submission (in meditation), to confine it and restrict it – that will just make it wilder! Use light concentration, gently correct it when it wanders, and patiently give it time and space”. Ian Gawler and Paul Bedson This guidance comes from two very experienced teachers of meditation and …
Mindfulness is the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally, to things as they are. Jon Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness develops your emotional intelligence, which helps you to take charge of your life and deal directly with your thinking, emotions and actions. Mindfulness is not something you have to get …
Being the hero of your life – to me that means getting absolutely real with yourself about your strengths, your vulnerabilities and your values and walking that self-talk. It’s an issue that influences life, sex and relationships – that we live in a culture that often celebrates the false and shuns real humanity. Are we becoming …
If love is going wrong everything else seems wrong for a while too, doesn’t it? Before you answer – I’m not just talking about romantic love here like it’s the be-all-and-end-all. It’s possible to have a fulfilled, rich life without couple love. But life generally sucks if you’re out of touch with the three big …
A real friend is one of the great loves that make life worth living. I realised far too recently how important it is to be reflective about what a friend means to me. It doesn’t work to assume that people are automatically ‘friends’ just because you hang out with them. I wasn’t taught that as …