Author, Psychologist
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Do you need to be dissatisfied in life to be driven to succeed? Is satisfaction a lame, insipid word to you that means giving up, and just settling for mediocre when we should be going for bigger, faster, better, stronger, harder? In fact, does satisfaction even exist, or do we always want for more? And, are these key reasons …
Blessed with riches and possibilities far beyond anything imagined by ancestors who tilled the unpredictable soil of medieval Europe, modern populations have nonetheless shown a remarkable capacity to feel that neither who they are nor what they have is quite enough. Alain de Botton. Continuing from my previous post, here’s the second installment in my series …
Shame is the most powerful master emotion. It’s the fear that we aren’t good enough. Brené Brown We humans are good at gathering shame inside us, and often at shaming others. We can feel shame for things done to us, as much as for things we have done. We may automatically assume we …
Let me fall if I must. The one I become will catch me. Baal Shev Tom From my twenties, I recall this image. I was standing on the edge of a crevasse, not just a cliff, a dark, vast jagged wound in the ground, an abyss where I couldn’t see the bottom. Around it was …
So Pete left, and there I was – another failed relationship, another week without an acting job, my bank account dwindling almost as fast as my frail self-esteem. As weeks dragged by, I felt increasingly out of control and I was fast sinking into depression. I was strangely overcome with grief about losing Pete although …
Being the hero of your life – to me that means getting absolutely real with yourself about your strengths, your vulnerabilities and your values and walking that self-talk. It’s an issue that influences life, sex and relationships – that we live in a culture that often celebrates the false and shuns real humanity. Are we becoming …
Therapist Aaron Beck was the grandfather of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – a system of therapy which in a nutshell, teaches people to recognise the patterns of thinking that aren’t serving them well and to question unhelpful thoughts and feelings rather than just going with them willy-nilly and spiralling into down moods. Many therapists, like myself, combine ideas …
Jealousy pangs occur for almost every couple at some time. However, if jealousy becomes part of an ongoing cycle of anger, suspicion, distress and insecurity in a couple, it needs dealing with on a deeper level before it erodes core trust in each other and dampens closeness and desire in the relationship. It’s important to …
I’m writing this with trepidation, because the mere mention of porn can provoke conservatives, big business, the moral police and all sorts. So to be clear, there’s no moral debate here. I’m writing about porn because it’s become an issue in my field – relationship therapy. Essentially the most common problem is when one partner …